I love this game. So why won’t I play it?
I remember watching Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome when I was around seven years old. I would go back to that captivating film as I got older, and things would always make a little more sense with each viewing. But one aspect of the movie stayed constant within me: Earth was a hopeless place, which wasn’t necessarily fun to watch. I would empathize with Max and the children that saved him for having to live in such bleak conditions. Any semblance of advanced civilization was non-existent. Security, comfort, and the conventions that humans took for granted in everyday life were gone. The innocents of Mad Max had to avoid starvation, worry about the everyday cold leading to death, and maintain mental stability in the face of despair. There were no grocery stores, no doctors, and no leisure activities to bring your family too. In a fascinating way, it was depressing to witness the results of a self-destructive society, especially when it could become a reality someday. But I could still enjoy the film; it wasn’t me walking in Mad Max’s battered leather boots. I was simply watching his struggles from the safety of my couch. Plus, the atmosphere was so well done that it was impossible to not admire the vision of the film’s creators.
Why am I talking about Mad Max on a video game site? Because those same morose feelings that the film gave me as a child came rushing back to me as I left Vault 101 in Bethesda’s Fallout 3. Except this time, I wasn’t passively watching Mel Gibson; I was the hero.
But in this case, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be. It was a bit too downtrodden for me, almost eerily realistic. Sure, Doom 3 and Silent Hill are scary, but they’re also completely imaginary. Fallout 3 is more terrifying in a way, because history shows we will eventually be our own downfall. And here I was, walking in a virtual wasteland where broken memories of a thriving culture remained as a depressing nightmare of what once was. Cannibalistic humans run wild and food is scarce (and the food you do find is irradiated, a really clever but disturbing game mechanic: Do I fill my HP at the expense of my long-term health? No game has ever made me think twice before hitting that potion button).
Anyway, I bring this up because I find myself in a predicament: I admire everything about Fallout 3. I love the incredible environment art (so depressing, yet somehow so beautiful), the deep dialogue choices that have an effect on the world, and the impressive hybrid RPG/FPS combat system. I will play through the entire game, eventually. Still, I find myself hesitating to pop it in my 360. I want to play it, but on the other hand, I don’t want to experience such a downtrodden atmosphere. Am I the only jerk on earth that has this problem? Have you ever played a game you loved, but were hesitant to continue playing because its atmosphere messed with you on some level?
-gd
Posted under Daily Question
I purchased one of the collector’s editions of Fallout 3 for the PC and I really have not played it much (probably around 10 hours). I guess I am learning that I am not a hardcore RPG fan. Also the whole ruined landscape thing doesn’t depress me as much as annoy me because it has been done so… many… times. Let me describe a game: In this game you can rummage around trash cans looking for items of value and crazed humanoids attack you with little provocation. The camera is first person and you can use weapons to dispatch your foes. The landscape is a ruined city.
Is this game:
A. Fallout 3
B. BioShock
C. Halo 3
D. Half Life 2
E. Gears of War
F. Left for Dead
G. Any of them
Just to be clear the point I am proving is that the whole post-apocalyptic first person shooter setting at this point is just tiresome to me. Sure I like the VATS and I liked the tutorial with Liam Neeson in Fallout 3 but after a couple decades of RPG development why am I still rummaging around in fucking trash cans for items? That is not a fun gameplay mechanic, especially when I can reopen empty containers if I click them by accident. Another mechanic that boggles my mind is that when I pick up that coffee cup or whatever garbage is there it adds to the total weight I can carry, which limits my speed. Am I the only one that thinks there has to be a better way to implement that? Like I said maybe I am just not a big RPG fan.
Anyway, I have had love-hate relationships with lots of games in the way you describe. I think it is a good thing to have in a game because it shows the level of immersion the player feels. It also shows the relationship the player has with their avatar, something no other media can create. I think more games should strive to test gamer’s values and challenge their perception, just don’t include dumpster diving as a gameplay mechanic.
-Mark
I’m not saying I hate (or even dislike) Fallout 3. It’s a weird feeling; I love most everything about the game, but something about the atmosphere makes me hesitate to happily dive in and play it. The dumpster diving doesn’t really bother me. I see your point, but that’s an RPG for you. Looting and exploration in seemingly inconsequential places are part of the game, so I’m used to it. Searching every nook and cranny rewards you with caps, which gives a lot of players a sense of reward when selling to that merchant.
As for the comment about all games being like Fallout, I’ll have to disagree again. I played (at least a demo) of all the games you mentioned, and except for Half-Life 2, none made me feel kind of depressed like Fallout. It’s kind of unfair to lump those together. You can really do that with anything (”This game is about space marines fending off an alien invasion”… “This game is about zombies and you have to shoot them”, etc.). There are sooo many games like those descriptions. Fallout feels completely different from all of them (especially since Fallout is more RPG than FPS… VATS is intended to be used more prominently). If anything, you could have said Fallout is Oblivion in a post-apocalyptic future.
I loved Morrowind and liked Oblivion, but I have had no urge to play Fallout 3. I can understand the feeling of depression and hopelessness, that is why you are in an easily recognizable city and not some random town in middle-America. The post-apocalyptic theme really works best when the audience (or player in the case of videogames) can quickly draw the parallel from the real world to the dystopia.
I personally find that I come to this problem often with movies. For the most part I avoid movies that will provoke a strong emotional reaction from me, because I usually just want to be entertained. It is not that I dislike movies that make me think and question the human condition, it is just that I do not always want to spend my free time internally reflecting on the human condition. It is impressive when a piece of media can have this quality, and what it really means is that the game is altering your outlook on things outside of the gameworld.
One of the big reasons I think this is not often seen in games is because it is tough to be “fun” and also be deeply meaningful. In your post you never say it is fun. Is it fun? Or is it just a sense of accomplishment and immersion into an environment and story that is compelling enough to make you complete it? Is the combat fun or is it just challenging? Is the leveling and RPG elements of the game fun or just intellectually stimulating?
When you decide to play a different game instead of Fallout 3 is it because you “just want to have fun?”
To address your later questions, yes, I think the game is fun. Fallout 3 is the first game to do an admirable job of giving the player choice between traditional RPG, menu selection combat (VATS), or real-time FPS (which, admittedly, is so-so). But the VATS pretty much nails it, so combat is fun for me. I also enjoy meeting NPCs and shaping my characters karma and charisma through conversation. Those sorts of things are very fun for me. And you know I love exploration… So yes, I enjoy the bulk of the game mechanics.
It’s interesting what you said about avoiding movies that give you a strong emotional reaction, because that may be what’s bothering me with Fallout. Morrowind was classic knights and dragons; I was sucked into the world, but I never felt odd or hesitant to play because it was clear escapism. Fallout 3, while clearly fiction, still seems eerily real and depressing to me. In Morrowind, I could live the classic lowly peasant to hero story. In Fallout 3, what am I? Some sad sap who realized his sheltered life in a vault has been a lie while the earth above is a shithole and humanity is struggling to survive. And the items I get are… dog meat. Irradiated dog meat. And one of my buddies is an ultra-leper who’s face looks like it’s about to fall off.
I think I may just be easily impressionable with certain genres, because after all, it’s just a video game. But this is why I’m so passionate about them.
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